The Deceptive “Ex-gay” Movement
In my new book, one of the themes involves “curing” homosexuals. My main character (Thumper) is brutally attacked, leaving him near death. When he wakes up in the hospital five days later, he has almost no memory of the past 10 years of his life.
He then begins the daunting process of rebuilding, desperate to restore his life and remember his friends. But unknown to him, his parent are working to keep that from happening. Without his consent, they turn him over to a zealous doctor who believes it’s possible to “restore” (or implant, impose) a heterosexual identity. The parents agree to the doctor’s untried, radical protocol to treat the amnesia, and in the process, change their son’s sexual orientation…from gay to straight.
In the story, a number of rather extreme methods are used to “heal” my main character, including hypnosis, drugs, implanted memories, aversion therapy and shock treatments. And while I do admit that the actual treatment protocol used in this book is mostly my imagination at work, in my defense, I feel there’s enough truth to make it believable, which is important in fiction. (I cover some of these various treatments in a post on my Facebook Author Page. Check it out, in the NOTES Section.)
There are some who accuse me of being too hard on the ex-gay movement. I’m sure there are some sincere people involved in these groups, but (in my opinion) they are sincerely wrong. I honestly believe these groups are deceptive, dangerous and damaging.
I’m not saying there aren’t some valuable lessons to be learned from these groups* but when the founding premise, presuppositions and purpose of these groups are wrong, there is little that can be praised about the outcomes. Because I was an active leader of one of these ministries, I know their goals, their processes…and their failures. Trust me: they don’t work!
Since leaving the ex-gay movement, I’ve counseled many who’ve been damaged by these rigid programs. I’ve heard their stories, many more horrible than anything I could write in a fictional story. Sadly, I lost one of my best friends who wanted desperately to change for his father, a Nazarene preacher. When he failed, he saw death as the only way to escape the inner conflict of his faith and sexuality. This is why I fight so hard against those who promote these programs and propagate their lies.
With that, allow me to share some of the Myths I learned over the years personally from my involvement with these dangerous groups as well as what I learned from working with others who were also once involved.
*Indeed, in my book, one of the characters who’s left an ex-gay program talks about the useful lessons he learned. At a GLBT Christian conference several years ago, I was one of the leaders of a session that examined some of the benefits we experienced from our own involvement with the programs. But I’m convinced those same benefits can be gained some other way; the hurt and harm that ex-gay groups inflict is just not worth the risk!
Quick Links:
Ten Myths of (so-called) Ex-Gay Programs
Those Who Say They Were “Cured” or Changed
What are your thoughts?
As you read the material, please feel free to send your comments, questions, thoughts...and especially your experiences. You can use the Feedback Form, and we’ll include them on the Interaction page, or you can post something on my Facebook page.
You can quote me:
Homosexuality does not need to be (nor can it be) cured. Homophobia, on the other hand, is totally treatable with patience, love and large doses of the truth!
You go to a doctor with a chronic ailment that’s plagued you for many years. The disease is not fatal, but the effects are personally wearisome, especially the response of others. Because the manifestations of the malady are considered socially questionable, you are embarrassed about it. “I don’t want anyone to know this part of my life,” you confess to the doctor.
Because you have this sickness, you feel it’s a serious detriment to living the fulfilling life you’ve envisioned. Those who love you have been persistent in insisting you seek professional help. At least to alleviate the visible symptoms.
The doctor listens patiently and sympathetically as you describe the years of turmoil this illness has caused, the disruption in your life and the negative impact on your loved ones. You outline all the things you’ve done to try and hide the illness, or at least mask the noticeable indicators.
When you’re done, the doctor writes a prescription, promising a cure. When you press about what it means to be cured and what’s involved, the doctor explains:
“You will need to take the medicine the rest of your life. The symptoms might diminish over time, but they will probably never go away entirely. However, it’s best to pretend they’re gone. And even though you still have this disease, we recommend that you tell everyone that you don’t. They will just be disappointed in your progress. Insist that the medicine has cured you…despite the obvious, enduring symptoms. That makes those around more comfortable, and it encourages other people with this problem to seek out our help.
You will probably want to consider attending our support group…made up of those with this same condition. They can teach you how to talk about the wonderful remedy and deflect any discussion of the actual cure. They will also help you in the logistics of how to live a successful life denying you even have the disease.”
That’s the essence of ex-gay programs!